If you want to give your metaphor bigger bounce at your wedding ceremony, add a ritual activity to illustrate it. If you choose a common activity from your life, that will make it stronger. This will allow the metaphor to become part of your daily life. Every time you do the activity after that, you will reinforce your wedding vows. (You do remember that a metaphor doesn’t use as or like, right?)
So what sort of image might you include in your wedding ceremony that is sacred on that day and will recall the sacred every day there after? Best if it’s familiar:
- Food you eat: share nourishment (bread) share delight (a berry or dried fruits) or share refreshment (wine, water, a favorite drink). Feeding one another is a lovely thing. Relationships need to be nourished. Carry through on this image at the reception if you have a buffet and select the choicest bits for your partner. Sharing food off your plate in a restaurant is also a way to remember what you did when you married.
- Things that live: arrange flowers or plant a small plant. Arrange to plant a sapling, or a bush, present at your wedding, representing your love, in your backyard or in a favorite wood. Don’t pick something too fragile to grow. Love and marriage must be hearty and strong. That’s how they survive.
- Water you spill out: wash your hands, water the earth, offer a gift to the ancestors. Purification is a sacred activity. Have hand washing as part of your wedding ceremony. Then consider a ritual hand washing as something to do each time you come home to your beloved to prepare to enter your home. It’s something we should do anyway. Connect it to your love and increase its importance and efficacy. You may not consciously remember what you’re doing every time you wash your hands, but your psyche will. You will treat one another more gently if you do that!
Here’s a tip: For three weeks afterwards, do the action religiously and think of the way you love one another. There you are, with your love for one another sealed into the sharing of bread, the planting, the washing of hands for the rest of your life. In three weeks it’s a habit!